This should absolutely be one of the first, if not the first, book you read when going through custody hell with a narcissist. In the beginning stages of my battle, I was completely caught off guard by the barrage of accusatory, bullying, and oftentimes incomprehensible messages. I would become physically sick when reading these, and I would spend hours pouring over responses that I believed would make my ex “realize” what he was saying wasn’t true. Until I discovered this book, I had no idea I was feeding into exactly what ex craved- he was getting my attention, and so much of it! I have multiple pages sticky-noted, as I reference them that often. My mom has now also read the book, and when a message comes through that puts my head in a fog, she becomes my real life “Narc Decoder,” helping me implement what we’ve learned. Sincerely Tina, thank you! I’d have already drowned in this battle if it weren’t for your resources and the community I’ve found through One Mom's Battle.

This is an amazing tool for learning when to respond, what the hidden messages are, and simply making sense of the madness that we live. It is a tool that gave me some sanity as I was in a place of feeling the need to continually defend myself in his rants against me. Even though I knew the writings were very deliberate lies and meant simply to cast a false light for the Judge and hurt me insidiously, I felt it may be believed if I didn't react. However, reading this book gave me some power back and allowed me to view things in a different light. Highly recommend it. I also bought a copy for my attorney and she's found it very helpful and enlightening. As an outside source who hasn't lived it, my attorney saw much more clearly the abuse that still continues today and both this book and Divorcing A Narcissist, have given my attorney such better insight to help her fight alongside me. Thank you Tina!

I found this book and the author Googling "divorce" and "narcissist" after my counselor prompted me to do so. It changed my life, or maybe more accurately it saved my life and sanity. Before reading Tina’s books I was never able to explain, even to myself, let alone my friends and family, what was wrong with my marriage. But I knew it was very wrong. I had been told for years that I am crazy by my now ex husband. My friends kept insisting that I was not. I read this book in one night and cried all night long. It was like reading my own marriage story. And I finally was able to give a name to the wrongness that was my marriage. It was the single most liberating experience of my life. I will gladly join thousands of other spouses and ex-spouses, male or female, who have had this exact experience and join them in saying: Thank you Tina, you saved my life and sanity.

This author's work has changed my life and my childrens lives over the last five years. To navigate the family court system with an ex who has NPD is a living nightmare. But to have the knowledge Tina shares is priceless. Buying my third copy for a friend entering this battle to protect her children.

An excellent resource for those going through divorce with a narcissist. Tina had me laughing out loud at some of her translations of the Narc-ish language. She is spot on in translating their erratic, crazy making words. It's so easy to get caught up in the narcissist's words. By reading this book I was reminded it's ok for me to have boundaries. And it's because I am a good, kind, loving person, that I am fighting for the safety of my children. Now every time I get a crazy email I will run it through the narc decoder and hopefully find a little humor in this crazy fight. Thank you Tina for writing another winner!